


Alien Parenting 101

by Sybariticfanfiction (SybariticReyna)



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: (between reader and soundwave), Also To Be Clear Reader And The Child Are Different Beings, Babysitting, F/F, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Heavily Implied Crushes/Unresolved Romantic Tension, Human/Cybertronian Differences, im cliché okay sue me, rated T for 1 (one) swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-18 15:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18702607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SybariticReyna/pseuds/Sybariticfanfiction
Summary: being a decepticon does not mean you can escape babysitting duty, or ignore lord Megatron





	Alien Parenting 101

**Author's Note:**

> this is tagged f/f bc im Lesbian For Soundwave but u can interpret him & reader anyway you like. we play fast and loose with gender ovr here 
> 
> baby character knows 1 word and its mama tho so be warmed abt that if itll make ya uncomfy. dysphorias a bitch. reader refers to themself as Ophelia's "second parent" and uses they/them pronouns

Being the one and only Decepticon Organic is  _ usually  _ something you’re very proud of. Usually getting comm’d by Megatron directly with an order to return to the Nemesis is something that makes you… absurdly happy. Giddy, perhaps. 

But right now? The familiar glow of the groundbridge makes a sense of panic well up while you absently try to correct the baby resting on your shoulder. Do they  _ really  _ need you right this instant? Not say, tomorrow morning, when your tiny charge’s mom plans to be back home? 

You know if you wait too long, someone (probably Soundwave or Laserbeak) will come through the bridge to pick you up whether you like it or not. But taking a seven month year old baby on an alien warship isn’t  _ exactly  _ ideal either. 

You knew saying yes to babysitting your roommates kid was a mistake, dammit, but what else could you do? It’s not as if you could explain you can’t watch Ophelia because a giant mechanical alien may or may not request your presence. 

At least you changed her diaper ten minutes  _ before  _ the groundbridge appeared. Although that might not stop her from needing another change before you’re back home. You grab the baby supply duffle bag with a frown. Do they even have a way to warm up food over there? It’s never been a problem for you, but you’re an adult, so. There are some notable differences. 

You take a deep breath and shield Ophelia’s eyes before stepping into the lite-brite tunnel. The baby, to her credit, doesn’t stir much at all during the short walk, apparently too sleepy from crying for two hours straight after her mama left. Despite being the fact you live with them and are, for all intents and purposes, her second parent, she prefers her mother and gets  _ very  _ upset when she’s not within eyesight.

Even though you’re clearly not her favorite, you love her more than anything. More than you thought you could love a tiny, screechy baby that is not your own. Maybe even more than you love your ‘cons. 

Soundwave meets you at the groundbridge, and although you cannot see his optics, the way he tilts his head curiously is enough of a prompt to explain, “My roommate has a family emergency.” 

“ _ Family. _ ” Your own voice repeats.

“Yeah?” You agree, somewhat confused. “Pick us up, please?” 

Soundwave does so with even more delicacy than usual, careful to keep his pointy digits away from the baby as he scoops you up. You’ve long since gotten used to the idea that you can easily fit within most ‘cons palms, but having Ophelia with you does add a new layer of panic, so you appreciate the gentle approach. You hold her as firmly as you dare, while Soundwave brings you up to mask level. 

“ _ Tiny organic. _ ” He says, using a Starscream clip. 

“She’s only seven months old, Sound. Her name is Ophelia.” You answer, shifting so he can see her chubby little face better. Her eyes are bright in the way only babies are after a nap, and she coos at the shiny masked TOC. “Ophelia, this is Soundwave. He’s the _Decepticon_ _Communications Officer_ and one of my best friends.” You tell her. 

His mask displays a question mark, and you quickly explain, “She doesn’t really understand language yet, but the more words she’s exposed to earlier on, the better for brain development. She can say mama though, can’t she?” 

At the sound of her favorite and only word, she babbles, “Ma ma ma ma!” 

“Ma ma ma ma!” Soundwave repeats. You’re not exactly sure what he hoped to achieve with that, but it sends Ophelia into a peal of delighted laughter (admittedly, that’s not a difficult thing to do, you’ve seen her laugh after a chihuahua tried to stick its tongue up her nose and when she found a suspiciously sticky nickel on the floor, but that  _ Soundwave _ is causing it makes your heart ache. In a good, semi familiar way). 

You hear a series of clicks, and Laserbeak deploys. Apparently both of them of interested in meeting Ophelia. The cyberbird circles for a moment before settling back down on Soundwave’s shoulder, and you move so they can both see her. “This is Laserbeak.” Soundwave’s friend? Son? You should probably ask for clarification there. He acts like Beaky’s mom. 

The bird leans close to the baby as he dares, his optics making little whirring noises as he focuses on her. Like a camera lens, almost. You’re used to it at this point. It used to startle you though, as did… most cybertronian  _ quirks _ that make the differences between your species obvious. 

(If Knockout’s commentary is anything to go off of, most of the ‘cons felt similarly at the beginning. Starscream especially was deeply disturbed when an accident in one of the energon mines led to scraped palms and  _ blood _ . There wasn’t even that much, but he doted over you in his own scowly way, yelling at the vehicons to  _ watch it! _ if they were even the slightest bit rough) 

Ophelia reaches out for the shiny robird, repeating the only word she currently knows in a demanding tone. It’s cute, the way she’s started mimicking inflection despite her lack of variety. 

Laserbeak tilts his head curiously, using a recording of your own voice to ask, “What’s up, cutie pie?” 

You bark a surprised laugh. “She-- Laserbeak, oh my god.”

He gives a pleased trill in response, a noise that you feel rattle your teeth more than hear. Ophelia’s babbling even cuts off for a moment as she lifts her hand to her mouth, as if that’ll help her figure out this new mystery sensation. 

“Can you say Laserbeak, Ophelia?” You prompt. “La-zer-beak.” 

“Llllll.” She makes an attempt at it, at least, trying out the L sound. 

You send Soundwave and Laserbeak a shocked smile, and if you had a mask like Wave’s, it would be a simple “!”. 

Laserbeak parrots his own name a few times for her, his excitement revealed in the way his wings vibrate and his optics zoom in and out as he leans closer rather than the tone. 

_ What a darling.  _

One of Soundwave’s fingers curl around your legs, tapping to get your attention. You glance up curiously, and his mask displays a simple blinking red dot in the corner. 

He’s started recording this. 

After that registers, his mask flashes a simple heart shape, and you. You feel like your heart is gonna burst from all the affection in it, rendering you unable to form words, let alone proper sentences. 

Can humans reboot? You feel like that would be beneficial. 

As you mentally stall, Ophelia leans over and plants a messy kiss on your cheek, no doubt leaving baby saliva all over. She laughs, loud and bright when you make a face. 

“Troublemaker.” You tell her, mock offended. You wipe your cheek off on your jacket sleeve. 

Soundwave buzzes in a way you think  _ might  _ be related to his EM field (?), but you ignore it for just a moment in favor of kissing Ophelia. She  _ loves  _ kisses, something you’re quietly convinced she got directly from you. “Sweet baby girl.” You murmur against her cheek. 

Soundwave’s buzzing gets louder as he leans closer, and you look up just in time for him to press his mask against your face. Gentle and warm. A facsimile of a kiss. 

_ I love you,  _ is what you think. “Soundwave,” Is what you manage to say. 

_Gods, he’s so lovely._

You bring your free hand up and press a kiss to his mask. What a weird little family you make. 

As if seconding that thought, one of Soundwave’s monitors beeps angrily, prompting all three of you except the baby to glance over. After a moment, Megatron’s face appears. “Soundwave! Have you retrieved our human?” 

You quietly tuck Ophelia against your chest again, somewhat hiding her from view. A tiny surprise. Soundwave lifts the hand holding you, like he’s a game show hostess telling Megatron  _ what he could win!  _ after doing some ridiculous task. 

Megatron’s optics brighten when he registers your presence, and although you wouldn’t dare call it a smile, he shows some teeth. “Good job, Soundwave. Bring them to me.” 

The screen goes dark immediately afterwards, and you laugh. “So impatient, our Lord.” 

“ _ I don’t miss them. But they are amusing, and occasionally helpful. _ ” Megatron’s voice sneers from Soundwave’s speakers.

“So… He _did_ miss  me?” You gasp. “And called me helpful?” 

Soundwave doesn’t reply, and when he begins to move, Laserbeak returns to his chassis. You immediately miss the bird. As does Ophelia, given her distressed whimpering. 

You quickly comfort her with kisses and calming words. “Shhh, it’s okay, I know they make weird noises sometimes.” You belatedly wonder if she knows they’re people. Comprehending giant space aliens seems a little out of her depth at a whopping seven months. They don’t seem to be prompting any stranger anxiety in her yet though, and that’s a pleasant surprise. She usually starts crying as soon as her mother or yourself lets someone else hold her. 

The trip over to the bridge is a short one, all things considered. It takes you  _ much  _ longer to get… anywhere, in this huge vessel. Even for a ‘con, Soundwave moves fast. You blame his long, long legs. 

The bridge is surprisingly unpopulated, with only a handful of subordinates, a distinct lack of Starscream, and Megatron lounging in his throne.

“Lord Megatron!” You cheer. “Good afternoon!” 

He makes a face. “Human. You’re… chipper today.” You wonder who he got that word from, and if he’s using it unironically. You don't _feel_ chipper.

“I have a surprise.” You say after a moment. Soundwave comes to rest in front of Megatron, dropping onto his knees in order for you to carefully walk from his to Megatron’s even larger palms. 

He watches you do so curiously, eyes alight as he squints at the bundle in your arms. The now  _ moving _ bundle. “What is  _ that? _ ” 

_ That _ reaches out, tangling her sticky little hands in your hair. A  _ wonderful  _ start, really. “This tiny monster is baby Ophelia.” You introduce. “Ophelia, this is Lord Megatron. He’s the leader.” 

Lord Megatron appears to take a moment to gather his thoughts, even as he automatically sets you on your usual perch in his lap. You sometimes think you should be annoyed that you regularly, at least  _ aesthetically,  _ appear to be his lapdog, but he’s never treated you as anything but an intelligent, sentient being. 

Soundwave is still kneeling in front of Megatron, although it's  _ hardly  _ for the warlord’s benefit. He keeps his masked optics on you as you move to lean against Megatron’s chassis, using the baby duffle for added support. 

The baby herself sits in the divut formed from your criss-crossed legs, keeping herself upright with little difficulty. She clutches at your clothes, sure, but you’re still very proud. Strong baby. 

“She hasn’t learned to walk yet.” You inform Megatron absently. “But she can crawl, so.” 

He answers by bringing a servo over, one clawed finger curled so that he can safely offer it to her inspection. She coos over the comparatively huge digit, trying to pull it closer. “B-b-b-b-b.” 

“I have no idea what you’re trying to say there, sweetheart.” You tell her. 

“Ma-ma ma ma.” Is her riveting response, leaning over to ‘kiss’ Megatron’s finger. The smear of saliva she leaves behind garners a growl from the warlord, but he doesn’t even pull away, let alone lash out at her for it. 

“You have so many moms.” You say, exasperated. “How many moms is  _ one  _ baby allowed to have, kiddo?”

“Moms?” Megatron repeats. 

“It's the only word she’s got down, so far. It means, like, uh, creator? sire? either one. I didn’t make her, or any other baby, before you ask, but I take care of her so.” You explain. “She seems to think its means anything she loves.” 

Megatron is not a  _ tender  _ mech, but Soundwave  _ certainly  _ is, especially when children are involved. His servos clench and relax like he wants to reach for you, and with your own hands you try to stifle your laughter. 

“Why is she here?” Megatron finally asks. 

“Her creator had an emergency. Where’s Starscream?” 

“He had an emergency.” Megatron responds. His normally harsh tone makes it hard to know when he’s actually mocking you, but you’re  _ pretty sure,  _ in this instance, he is. 

You giggle, a sound mimicked by Ophelia. She finally released Megatron’s finger in favor of trying to crawl over the wall formed by your calves, and you block her by lifting them up higher. 

It's a gamble, as sometimes she’ll take it as a fun game and others she’ll immediately begin crying.  _ Children _ . “Please don’t crawl all over the decepticon leader.” You plead. “He isn’t a mcdonalds play place, my love.” 

“Let her.” Megatron orders. 

You hesitate, but oblige when he moves the same servo from earlier to her side. If anyone can protect her, its him. 

**Author's Note:**

> i have less ridiculous tf fic ideas but Of Course this is the one I'm motivated to finish first. I still can't get ovr how many kids g1 Soundwave has. what an icon. 
> 
> mmmmm im still not sure abt my Megatron n whether or not i made him Too Soft but i think hes got a soft spot for reader & by extension, the little monster they brought along. they are so going to get chewed out for not running it by him first tho.


End file.
